You've seen the reports about Van Jones, President Obama's onetime "green jobs czar," and Cass Sunstein, his equally volatile "regulatory czar," and Fox News show host Glenn Beck has put together a list of dozens of such appointees.
Now here's the newest White House promotion: "Health food czar" Sam Kass.
"In a comical move even for a czar-happy president who has rewarded dozens of cronies with distinguished titles, the White House has named the Obamas' personal Chicago cook as 'Senior Policy Adviser for Healthy Food Initiatives,'" reports the Washington government watchdog Judicial Watch.
"It's no joke, even though it sounds like a bad one. The Chicago chef's rapid ascension ... has been kept under the radar for the last month," Judicial Watch said.
"Sam Kass went from being a 20-something, Windy City gourmet cook – privately paid by the Obamas to feed them – to big-time White House adviser in a matter of months," the report said.
But it makes sense, the report said, since Michelle Obama has claimed that childhood obesity is a threat to "national security."
According to an earlier CNSNews.com report, Michelle Obama confirmed – in talking about her White House campaign against obesity – that the condition "impacts national security" because it is a "disqualifier for military service."
Judicial Watch said the situation is so dire, President Obama has been convinced to spend $400 million a year on "healthy foods" in low-income neighborhoods as well as revise – at a cost of $10 billion – a federal plan to provide food to poor children in school.
Such an assembly of programs "no doubt requires a trusted senior policy adviser – like Kass – who is an expert in healthy cuisine," Judicial Watch said.
"Makes you wonder what Kass … has been putting in the Obamas' food all these years," the report said...
According to Beck's compilation, the list of czars includes:
Richard Holbrooke, Afghanistan czar
Jeffrey Crowley, AIDS czar
Ed Montgomery, auto recovery czar
Alan Bersin, border czar
David J. Hayes, California water czar
Ron Bloom, car czar
Dennis Ross, central region czar
Todd Stern, climate czar
Lynn Rosenthal, domestic violence czar
Gil Kerlikowske, drug czar
Paul Volcker, economic czar
Carol Browner, energy and environment czar
Joshua DuBois, faith-based czar
Jeffrey Zients, government performance czar
Cameron Davis, Great Lakes czar
Van Jones, green jobs czar
Daniel Fried, Guantanamo closure czar
Nancy-Ann DeParle, health czar
Vivek Kundra, information czar
Dennis Blair, intelligence czar
George Mitchell, Mideast peace czar
Kenneth R. Feinberg, pay czar
Cass Sunstein, regulatory czar
John Holdren, science czar
Earl Devaney, stimulus accountability czar
J. Scott Gration, Sudan czar
Herb Allison, TARP czar
Aneesh Chopra, technology czar
John Brennan, terrorism czar
Adolfa Carrion Jr., urban affairs czar
Ashton Carter, weapons czar
Gary Samore, WMD policy czar
Okay, Obama, I know you really, really love your czars, but this is ridiculous! I mean, really? Why do we even need half of these czars? And a HEALTH FOOD CZAR? Really? What's next, a white-bunny-with-a-black-patch-of-fur-on-its-left-eye czar? Seriously!
And Michelle Obama doesn't really care about national security any more than her hubby does. Terrorists are treated better than some American citizens while they're at Gitmo, and all the Obamas can do is preach to the cause of making us less fat? Just tax pop and get it over with already! Oh, wait, YOU DID.
Finally, let me just comment on a few of Obama's czars:
Ron Bloom, car czar: My favorite (this guy is the carz czar!)
Jeffrey Zients, government performance czar: I feel bad for this guy
Cameron Davis, Great Lakes czar: This is one that actually affects me, so I have to comment on him
Van Jones, green jobs czar: Is this that psycho "spread the wealth" guy? Is wealth-spreading (aka government office) a green job? Come to think of it, Mr. Green Jobs Czar, is being a czar a green job? Huh? Huh?
Daniel Fried, Guantanamo closure czar: Well, he sure did a bang-up job
Vivek Kundra, information czar: All "information" except that with the terms "Muslim," "radical," "Islamic extremist(s)," "9/11," and the number nineteen
Dennis Blair, intelligence czar: Dude, this guy works for the OBAMA ADMINISTRATION. He's an oxymoron (Obama's intelligence czar... yeah, no)
George Mitchell, Mideast peace czar: This guy has obviously been working hard, but not harder than Obama, seeing as how the Mideast peace czar hasn't actually bowed to anyone as of yet
Earl Devaney, stimulus accountability czar: And I thought the "government performance czar" had it bad
John Brennan, terrorism czar: Obviously either an idiot (thus listened to) or not an idiot (and thus not listened to)
Sam Kass, health food czar: the newest and, as yet, most pointless addition to the Kzarz Klub
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